Tales of an Introvert

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

–Commencement address by Steve Jobs, delivered on June 12, 2005 at Stanford University.

The only time I have felt like I have been doing “great work” or at least meaningful work, to me, was working for the Montreat Conference Center. And that was in any capacity. I’ve been a wilderness ranger taking care of their 2,500 acres of wilderness, a bellman in the Assembly Inn, a night auditor in the Inn (3rd shift one winter and read The Shining. Awesome.), AV Technician on up to Director of Production. I, also, felt like I was doing good work as a sound guy and sometimes bartender at the original Grey Eagle in Black Mountain working for beers instead of money. In each of those positions I have felt like I was doing something I loved. Maybe it was being surrounded by the Blue Ridge Mountains. Maybe it was the folks I was working with or the people I was serving. Maybe, in Montreat, it was working for the “Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in [his] ghost manger, just lookin’ at [his] Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors.” It just might be a combination of all of those things. While I’m in an industry that I enjoy I just can’t get behind what I’m doing here. Sure, it’s putting food on the table and insurance for the family, but, ugh. I just can’t stand being here wearing a tie and pushing for the almighty dollar instead of the Almighty.

I suppose I’m having some employment angst. It’s come up more so since I have been the new director of event technology at my current location. Also, with the Elder Extroverted Holy One’s graduation from Vanderbilt Divinity School and her current church search (that’s sounds kinda cool, “Church Search ’08″ should be a t-shirt). There is a possibility that depending on the call she gets I might be able to be a stay-at-home dad. With the Young Extroverted One going to public school I could stay with the Bobblehead to save on childcare costs. We’ve even had a short discussion of possibly just owning one car.

With all of the possibilities of being able to be more of the domestic goddess that I could be I am certainly finding it difficult to get motivated to get up in the morning and put on that tie and coat. Thankfully, my work ethic kicks in and I continue to do the best I can no matter what I’m doing. . . . Stupid ethic . . .